Jupiter Ascending (USA, 2015)

Nine Things About the Movie Jupiter Ascending

1. This movie is a glorious, epic mess. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

2. It was made by the Wachowskis, who are most famous for the "Matrix" movies. [They are no longer known as the Wachowski Brothers, Larry and Andy, because Larry has transitioned to a female and is now Lana, so they are brother and sister].

3. It's a mish-mash of pieces of lots of other movies. You can find ingredients from "The Matrix", "Cinderella", "The Wizard of Oz", "Dune", "The Fifth Element", and "Brazil" all mixed into this absurd stew.

4. The plot is about a girl named Jupiter who desperately wants a telescope. She discovers she owns the Earth when bees refuse to sting her because they don't harm royalty. She is thrown into a three-way battle between siblings who have divided the universe up among themselves and are fighting for territory.

5. The movie bounces back and forth between amazing action scenes and then plot-driven scenes that throw as much of the story in quick as they can before another action scene happens.

6. There is a lot of back-story and side-story that is never explained, so you need to figure some of the plot out yourself, if you care enough to. This should have been made as two or three movies, not one. Packing six hours of material into two hours means it's going to be kind of confusing, it's going to have some dumb story connections, and some plot holes the size of galactic vortexes.

7. The special effects are spectacular. The set pieces, design, and cinematography are stunning. And there is a greater diversity of intergalactic characters than I've ever seen in one movie. The movie was supposed to have been released in the summer of 2014 but was delayed in order to complete all the computer effects.

8. There are interesting philosophical topics that are opened, but there isn't enough time to explore them. And the idea of expanding a corporation to the scale of the universe opens rich opportunities for social commentary, which is never really made.

9. As an actual story, the movie is not impressive. Especially the ending, which is one of the stupidest conclusions I've ever seen.
But as an epic space opera fantasy adventure, this is the most kick-ass, visually stunning and kinetic film I've seen in years.