Wednesday, December 31, 2014

"A Million Ways To Die in the West" (USA, 2014)

Nine Things About the Movie A Million Ways To Die in the West

1. This movie could have been called "A Million Jokes Die in this Movie".

2.  It's proof that having an all-star cast cannot save a bad script.

3. The plot is cobbled together from other old westerns; an awkward sheep herder named Albert is dumped by his girlfriend. Albert falls in love with a new girl who is secretly married to a gold bandit. They help each other out. The end.

4. This movie is mostly a succession of jokes, with a few serious scenes thrown in. Some of the jokes are funny, and some of the characters are funny. A lot of the jokes and characters are not.

5. Seth MacFarlane is mostly known for creating the TV show "Family Guy". This movie was written and produced by Seth MacFarlane, directed by Seth MacFarlane, and stars Seth MacFarlane. It's his first-ever on-screen acting role.

6. Seth MacFarlane is a terrible actor, especially in his scenes with Charlize Theron. There is nothing remotely believable about his character. He just wanders around being Seth MacFarlane, making jokes.

7. Casting Gilbert Gottfried as Abraham Lincoln was one of the worst cinematic decisions of the year.

8. The best joke was set up halfway through movie, but is pretty offensive without the punchline... which doesn't come until the credits start (with another small joke after the credits).

9.  This movie is a mess, full of non-sequiturs and random sex and poop jokes. It does have a few really good moments, but on the whole, I felt embarrassed for the actors who agreed to be in the movie.