Spring [USA,2015]

Nine Things About the Movie Spring

1. This is a gutsy, intelligent, and intriguing indie film that doesn't really fit into any genre, though it's usually given the awkward category "romantic horror".

2. It's structured very much like Richard Linklater's "Before" trilogy: a young man named Evan travels to Italy and meets a woman named Louise. They spend a week walking around, talking, and falling in love. However, in between the conversations, Louise has some pretty serious problems developing. Horrific moments start poking through the leisurely romantic development.

3. The movie plays with the viewers' expectations of horror movies, giving some clues as to what's going on, but changing them later. The real clues to the movie (including the film's title) are hidden in plain sight throughout the film, but aren't really appreciated until close to the end.

4. Given what this movie is trying to do, the script is very well-written. The budding romance is realistic and believable, but there is also a mounting sense of dread that starts to soak through everything.

5. The movie gets dangerously close to becoming absurd and silly. But at several crucial moments, it just doubles down and forces you to keep with it.

6. Everybody knows the trite saying, "The journey is more important than the destination". This movie plays with that concept on a few different levels.

7. In the end, I don't think this is a romance or a horror movie. It's a unique philosophical meditation on several themes - the nature of love, the fear of commitment, unequal sacrifices between partners, secrets and insecurities. Oh, and the difference between science and the supernatural.

8. The ending is controversial, and your reaction will depend on how you interpret the rest of the movie. I thought it was very smart and satisfying; I actually think that's the only way it could have ended. But others will find the ending to be frustratingly incomplete. It depends on what you think the movie is really about and how literally you take the story.

9. This is an an oddball film that will not be to everyone's taste, and will probably not be seen by very many people. But it's one of the most intriguing and intelligent films I've seen so far this year.

The Lazarus Effect (USA, 2015)

Nine Things About the Movie The Lazarus Effect

1. Wow, this movie is dumb.

2.  It's about a group of college students working on a serum to help coma patients. For some reason they use it to resurrect a dead dog. Things go wrong for the group, and of course they have to try the serum on one of their own members.

3. The first ten minutes are kind of intriguing. But once a couple of the college students bring the undead dog home with them, you can stop watching. You've seen the best part of the movie.

4. The film uses a lot of pseudo-scientific vocabulary words in quick conversations, to cover up the fact that what they are saying makes no sense whatsoever. It even uses the stupid "we only use 10% of our brain" myth, and I don't know why. It's not like the movie makes more sense by utilizing that concept.

5. I suspect the script was written a couple of stoned college freshmen, who threw in a bunch of random, disconnected ideas that they thought were cool and "deep". I can't even really explain what the movie was doing. It goes from being "scientific" to demonic with the flip of a switch.

6. This is one of the bigger movie roles so far for Donald Glover (aka Childish Gambino). He's probably the best actor in the movie. I felt bad for him; he deserves better than this.

7. There are some interesting individual scenes and surreal moments. This could have been a decent movie, if somebody connected with the film actually knew what they were doing.

8. You know how in slasher movies, when the killer is chasing the people and they always make dumb decisions? This movie is like that, except the people make dumb decisions for the whole movie, whether somebody is chasing them or not.

9. As a movie belonging to the "re-animation" subgenre of horror, I think this movie should have stayed dead.

Clown (USA, 2014)

Nine Things About the Movie Clown

1. In 2010, a couple of friends, Jon Watts and Christopher Ford, made a fake movie trailer about a guy that turns into a killer clown. The trailer said it was directed by Eli Roth (known for Cabin Fever and the Hostel movies).

2. Eli Roth saw the fake trailer, loved it, and decided to put up the money for the two friends to actually make the movie.

3. Even though it's an American movie, it has only been released in Europe, and is already on DVD there.

4. The plot of the movie is simple and direct - a father finds a strange clown suit and puts it on for his son's birthday party, calling himself  Dummo. But after the party he discovers that he can't take the costume off. After a little detective work he discovers that clowns are a modern representation of an old European demon... and there's only one way he can clear himself of his troubles.

5. The movie starts out kind of silly, but as the father's problem gets worse, it gets really serious and grim.

6. The movie follows basic horror conventions and doesn't go to much trouble explaining why certain things happen - you just go with it. The movie is too absurd to be really scary, but it's also too bizarre to be funny. It exists in a unique place among horror movies.

7. When it comes to scary clowns, Dummo is up there with Pennywise. And the doll from Poltergeist, of course.

8. People that are really coulrophobic (which means "afraid of clowns") should probably not watch this movie. People that are sensitive about seeing children in danger should also probably not watch this movie.

9. Even though it's not super scary, this is a creepy movie with some genuinely unsettling scenes. If you go into this movie with no expectations, this is a gutsy and fairly impressive little gem.



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Chappie (USA, 2015)

Nine Things About the Movie Chappie

1. This is the third film from South-African/Canadian director Neill Blomkamp. It's also his least cohesive.

2. Blomkamp's first film, District 9, used a science fiction story to discuss issues like apartheid and racism. His second film, Elysium, used a science fiction story to discuss issues like classism, immigration, and health care. Chappie uses a science fiction story to discuss... too many things.

3. The science fiction story is great. Sort of a philosophical successor to Robocop, it follows two employees of a weapons manufacturer. One employee wants to make robot police that can decide things for themselves. The other employee wants to make robot police that can only be controlled by humans. When a computer code is made to create actual artificial intelligence, it is tested in a robot that gets plunged into a very chaotic environment.

4. The movie introduces ideas such as God, consciousness, the soul, ethics, morality, and education. Unfortunately, those issues are too varied and too deep to explore in a two-hour movie, especially when you need to put in a lot of action scenes.

5. What could have been one of the most compelling themes, the development of morality, is turned into comic relief, as Chappie is taught how to be a thug. And another really interesting idea, about the transfer of consciousness, is only introduced at the very end of the movie.

6.  Visually, the movie is edgy and cool. The visual effects are impressive. Some of the action scenes are borderline epic.

7. The movie was partially financed by Sony, so of course the laptops in the movie are Vaios. And while I know the Playstation is a powerful gaming system, I have serious doubts that stringing a few of them together would be able to upload consciousness onto the internet.

8. Any movie about artificial intelligence requires a certain suspension of disbelief; you just accept the premise of the movie and go with it. But this movie requires too much of that. By the climax of the film, you have to throw science and reality out the window.

9. If you are looking for an action movie starring a cute wannabe gangster robot, this is a good time. Just ignore all the things that try to make you think. They will lead you nowhere.

Focus (USA, 2015)

Nine Things About the Movie Focus

1. For a movie that's supposed to be about focus, it sure doesn't have much.

2. The movie starts out promising - Will Smith plays Nicky, who leads a small group of con artists. Nicky meets a small-time wannabe named Jess, and he shows her how their world works.

3. What begins as a fun caper movie loses steam - and becomes predictable - as soon as Nicky and Jess start falling in love. Shortly after that (the football scene, to be specific), it comes completely off the rails. The movie gets increasingly ridiculous and unbelievable; by the end, I was laughing at all the wrong parts.

4. The movie itself doesn't suck. There are some nice scenes, good performances, and the camera work is great. The story sucks, though.

5. It's strange to see Will Smith play a dramatic and romantic leading man, but he pulls it off. His charisma carries the whole movie.

6. Jess is the only female character in the movie. She flip-flops between being a strong female and a sexist stereotype.

7. This movie has one of the longest and most pointless "I'm tied to a chair while the bad guy makes speeches" scenes I've watched in awhile.

8. This movie wants to keep you guessing who is on what side. But the story is so full of nonsense and holes that I stopped caring.

9. I know the movie's message is supposed to be how you can lose your focus and then find a new and better one. But the movie loses track of itself so completely that the message doesn't just get blurry, it disappears.

964 Pinocchio (Japan, 1991)

Nine Things About the Film 964 Pinocchio

1. This is considered to be a cyberpunk film. I personally wouldn't call it cyberpunk - it's unclassifiable. But cyberpunk is the closest genre to whatever this movie is.

2. It's usually compared to Shinya Tsukamoto's revolutionary cyberpunk classic "Tetsuo: The Iron Man". "964 Pinocchio" isn't very much like "Tetsuo", except in its visual style. It's a very kinetic and speed-edited, unexplainable film.

3. It's about a male sex slave named 964 Pinocchio who can't keep an erection, so his mind is wiped and he is thrown onto the streets. He is found by a girl named Himiko, who has her own memory problems and is trying to make a map of the entire city. Himiko goes crazy, imprisons Pinocchio and begins tormenting him. Meanwhile, the corporation that makes the sex slaves decides they better go find Pinocchio. Then things get weird.

4. Some of the scenes in the film are very creative and unique. There are surreal images and sequences that hit deep parts in you. Some of the scenes in the film are really dumb, and remind me of drugged-out college students trying to make performance art, or are trying to be shocking just to be shocking.

5. It took me awhile to recognize that this movie is kind of a twisted retelling of some of the themes in the actual Pinocchio story.

6. The girl that plays Himiko is not a very good actress. But in a movie like this, I don't suppose it matters much.

7. This movie probably has the longest vomit scene of any movie I've watched.

8. People scream a lot in this movie, and yell at each other. That might be part of the reason why the alternate title for this film is "Screams of Blasphemy".

9. This isn't a great film, but for those people who enjoy cyberpunk, or who like films that explore the edges of both cinema and reality, it's definitely worth watching.  Just don't expect to really understand it.

Short Term 12 (USA, 2014)

Nine Things About the Movie Short Term 12


1. This movie hit me right in the feels. It was one of the most overlooked films of 2014.

2. It's about a group of 20-something adults working in a group home for troubled teenagers. One of the workers, Grace, bonds with a new girl, Jayden. Their relationship triggers problems in Grace's past, and she has trouble maintaining the boundaries between Jayden's situation and her own.

3.  It was written and directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, who based it on his own experiences working in a group home.

4. It's a very authentic movie (mostly), and does an excellent job of showing what it's like to work with kids who have slipped between society's cracks, or who have been dealt a terrible situation in life.

5.  While the major focus is on Grace, it is really kind of an ensemble story. The movie follows three adult workers, and several kids. They all are connected in different ways, and the movie does a good job of showing how an incident in one life can reverberate among the others.

6. The acting is superb all around. The characters are believable, realistic, and illustrate life's tragedies without becoming melodramatic. Brie Larson is absolutely amazing as Grace, the adult that's just as traumatized as the kids she works with. She should have won an Academy Award.

7. There is technically a main climax to the movie; but since the story involves several kids in various situations, there are several "mini-climaxes" spread throughout the film as we follow their subplots. The movie swings your emotions from hope to heartbreak several times.

8. This is one of the best illustrations I've ever seen of the difficulty of maintaining a professional perspective in highly emotional situations. It also helps explain why some people are attracted to such a difficult job.

9. Without giving any major spoilers away, I HATED the ending. It betrayed all the realism of the rest of the movie, and it's disrespectful to the troubled kids stuck in the system. The last five minutes should not have been filmed.

Fifty Shades of Grey (USA, 2015)

Nine Things About the Movie Fifty Shades of Grey

1. Screenwriter Kelly Marcel and director Samantha Taylor-Johnson have taken the infamous, almost unreadably bad novel and turned it into a surprisingly watchable movie. The main problem with it is that it tries to be two movies at the same time.

2. The film is structured as a dumb romantic fantasy, with high levels of melodrama and low levels of logic. A pretty but frumpy college senior named Ana interviews a mega-billionaire named Christian, and falls in love. Christian's unusual sexual outlook awakens something in Ana, and they both struggle with what it all means.

3. But crammed into that juvenile story structure is a different movie, one that tries to make some actual statements about women, power, and sex. Unfortunately, those statements don't quite work in the context of the actual plot, so the movie ends up sabotaging itself.

4. I need to make this clear: People that criticize the movie as promoting non-consensual sex or violence against women have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. They either haven't seen it, or their perspective is warped because of their own sexual or gender-role hangups. The entire theme of the movie is about consent and different ways of negotiating a sexual relationship. There is never any doubt who is actually in control in this movie, or who gets the most pleasure. And it's not the man.

5. The movie gets the dominant/submissive thing kind of right, both physically and psychologically. Better than the book does, anyway. However, it's unfortunate that Christian is coming at the BDSM lifestyle for the wrong reasons.

6. There is a sense of humor and playfulness in the movie that is drowned out in the book.

7. Dakota Johnson gives a good, brave performance as Ana. Jamie Dornan wasn't as good as Christian. He was supposed to be brooding and intense, but came off looking mostly constipated.

8. A huge part of the success of this kind of movie depends on the sexual chemistry between the two lead actors. There is about as much sexual chemistry between Johnson and Dornan as there is between a rock and a piece of wood.

9. Like it or not, this movie is a milestone in popular media's depiction of women as full-blooded sexual beings. It describes a new form of female empowerment that clearly hits a nerve in society... and makes many people uncomfortable. There are a lot of important ideas here. I just wish those ideas were expressed in a story that could be taken seriously.

Jupiter Ascending (USA, 2015)

Nine Things About the Movie Jupiter Ascending

1. This movie is a glorious, epic mess. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

2. It was made by the Wachowskis, who are most famous for the "Matrix" movies. [They are no longer known as the Wachowski Brothers, Larry and Andy, because Larry has transitioned to a female and is now Lana, so they are brother and sister].

3. It's a mish-mash of pieces of lots of other movies. You can find ingredients from "The Matrix", "Cinderella", "The Wizard of Oz", "Dune", "The Fifth Element", and "Brazil" all mixed into this absurd stew.

4. The plot is about a girl named Jupiter who desperately wants a telescope. She discovers she owns the Earth when bees refuse to sting her because they don't harm royalty. She is thrown into a three-way battle between siblings who have divided the universe up among themselves and are fighting for territory.

5. The movie bounces back and forth between amazing action scenes and then plot-driven scenes that throw as much of the story in quick as they can before another action scene happens.

6. There is a lot of back-story and side-story that is never explained, so you need to figure some of the plot out yourself, if you care enough to. This should have been made as two or three movies, not one. Packing six hours of material into two hours means it's going to be kind of confusing, it's going to have some dumb story connections, and some plot holes the size of galactic vortexes.

7. The special effects are spectacular. The set pieces, design, and cinematography are stunning. And there is a greater diversity of intergalactic characters than I've ever seen in one movie. The movie was supposed to have been released in the summer of 2014 but was delayed in order to complete all the computer effects.

8. There are interesting philosophical topics that are opened, but there isn't enough time to explore them. And the idea of expanding a corporation to the scale of the universe opens rich opportunities for social commentary, which is never really made.

9. As an actual story, the movie is not impressive. Especially the ending, which is one of the stupidest conclusions I've ever seen.
But as an epic space opera fantasy adventure, this is the most kick-ass, visually stunning and kinetic film I've seen in years.