Monday, June 16, 2014

V/H/S 2 [USA, Indonesia, 2013]







Nine Things about the Movie V/H/S/2

1. In 2012, “V/H/S” was released. It was an anthology horror film, about some people that break into someone’s house in the middle of the night. They find a room of VHS tapes, and one person stays behind to watch the tapes, which turn out to be “found footage” horror films. There was about 10 minutes of interesting material in the wholemovie.

2. Here’s V/H/S/2”. It is an anthology horror film, about some people that break into someone’s house in the middle of the night. They find a room of VHS tapes, and one person stays behind to watch the tapes, which turn out to be “found footage” horror films. There is about 5 minutes of interesting material in the whole movie..

3. The first story is about a guy that gets a video camera for an eyeball, which lets him see dead people that move his video game controller and teapot. He meets a girl that got an electric ear, which lets her hear dead people, including her fat uncle. She has to take her clothes off to get him to leave. Together, they meet other dead people, who are mean.

4. The second story is about a zombie attack. Now, you might think that a zombie attack, told from the point of view of a camera on a zombie, would be interesting. But you would be wrong.

5. The third story is about a cult that waits until a documentary crew arrives before they go on a murderous rampage and give birth to a demon. The story makes absolutely no sense, but it’s the best story of the whole movie just because it has the most gore.

6. The fourth story is about a group of teenagers that like to have sex and masturbate. But their fun is ruined when aliens invade their house and start killing them. This time, we know the whole terrible story because a camera was attached to the family dog.

7. This movie underscores the problem with “found footage” horror films. Everybody needs to be filming everything at all times. People need to have cameras in their eyes, on their bikes, on their helmets, in their clothes, in their house, in their car, and on their dog. And they need to all be filming 24/7. And once everybody is dead, someone has to find all the footage and edit it together into a story.

8. If you think the “Paranormal Activity” films are documentaries, this movie might scare you. Otherwise you will laugh at the cheap effects, the cheap scares, and the cheap acting. Characters will think of the stupidest thing to do, and then do it. Not to mention the fact that each story barely has a plot, anyway.

9. This movie proves that “found footage” horror films have not only jumped the shark, they’re not even in the water anymore.